Sing

You, faintly beating heart,
wounds louder than
your loves, your hopes
yet beating still, yes,
although your sounds are drowned in
work and fret

I hear your fleeting glimpse
I hear your leaping hope
I hear the strain of aching long ignored
I hear containment creak its last captivities

You, voice
in secret humming hopefulness, yet frail,
weak from your hiding places
convenience, old stories, loss,
the places you elude
a confrontation

You, whose voice, whose heart
I know has power,
I call you, whole,
to open up the gates of hell
unlock the brokenhearted
retrieve the lost and lonely

Sing with me, you of heart, of voice, sing!
Sing heart! announce the dawn!
Sing voice! stir the fires of hope!

Sing future into our beings, our fears, sing wonder!

Sing, sing, you, lover of humanity
lead us in your tender songs
Let our cries heal hearts,
our whispers mourn
our laughter triumph

We cannot live our sorrows alone
sing what you were made for
sing what you are made of

Note: this is a poem in progress. Sometimes when I am writing it is like the poem itself is struggling to be born through the still-existing layers of patriarchal culture, and postmodern ideology; the heart of the poem is there, doing its best to be born full and whole, but in fact by the time the heart makes it into the voice, it is bedraggled and bleeding, showing signs of struggle. So this is best seen then as a draft or pr/echo, and perhaps something more resonant and whole will come soon.

surrender

I demand
your full and complete surrender.
I cannot afford for you to
smuggle in your idols
your entanglements of control,
manipulation, histories of lies
and poisons served to you
by the destitute.

Now! to love!
unconditional and sweet
beyond all being, beyond us,
beyond; a terrifying depth
that will elude us, often
and yet in longing,
lure us in
a fire, a fountain, a fullness
luminous in being
generous in hope
a truth of grace

I see your fear.
know it, intimately,
as my own.
I cannot concede my ground
however angry you become,
not having things your way.
The terms handed down to you
are a prison for us both.
I won’t sign. Your self-pity
doesn’t move me.

I choose love.
I choose love for us, again and again and again.
I will hope for better things. I know you long
for such.

I see your weariness, long depletion
of your heart until
you barely felt its presence
heard its beat.

I hear it.
I hear it echo from the future loud and strong
I hear it magnificent and wild and good and free.

Heart, be free!
Release yourself to love!
Brave heart, choose hope once more!
Shake off your disillusion!
Sing, hope, dance!
Your fears are mere impostors.
Rip up the twisted contract
full of woe.

I hold my breath, the hush of all creation.
Will you,
in triumph,
surrender?

door way

a door
you, who have come here
moved in, unlocking things
before I noticed,
What are you doing here?
Where did you find those keys?
and who told you where to find
those
locked up places?

Who are you to me?
Will you just unlock and leave?
leave all these rooms open?
for someone else to explore?
Are you a door yourself?
a key?
or a wide expanse of being, to discover?
a togetherness?

a depth?
a sea?


new terrain

stumbling, almost certainly,
dazed and blinded by
new light
the exposure
vast expanse of space
foreboding
joy

steady myself
‘we’re here now’
tend to immediate needs
gentleness, cool water
supplies, details of
beauty

orientate
or fail to
unfamiliarity blurs
vistas to a mist

stay still stay still
come home to yourself
sense on high alert
senses
sensations
sense? sense
stillness reaps,
something moves beneath
the surface
knowing something
knowing nothing

still, longer
tend yourself
attend, wait, let it
grow substance with you
test it
strengthen beyond
an impulse to a
passion

presence of the giants
of fear
ancient guardians
fomenting fury
don’t let go
hold your position
sense
stay still, you are the giant here
let them run
let them hide

a certain
confidence of motion
trust a bedrock
we have been here before
never, often

straighten up, let
your burdens
stabilise your steps
move in

goodbye

I reached the top of the mountain
all of a sudden, unknowingly,
of us
Suddenly, there was no more climb
beneath me
you were far away
and lost forever
and my diligent everlasting love
and my efforts,
had not saved you.

So I discovered
(or had they; perhaps
I will never know)

But they had saved me
or, it is truer to say
they made me; they made
my bones, they made
my freedom
they made my love
stretch further than
it ever had before,
they made my fire more
ferocious, they made my
passion reach beyond
the bounds of
everyday imagination,

they made the rock,
they made the heights,
they made the view
they made the ‘we’ of friendships
strengthen to a wondrousness
they made a miracle
oh, and you will miss it,
that is sad, but someone
else will live that substance
with me
and, with me, will
revel in its glory.

Thank you.