alarm

early blog anxiety

~ extraplorer ~ 5 Comments

I am afraid of flatlining;
forty-eight dots on the WordPress
navigation bar
haunt my waking moments.

Ooooh the thrill of the tall
proud towers of views;
a forest of admiration;
peaks of blog achievement
I could almost stick my flag in.

I try to rationalise the valleys of
(invisibility)
which only occur (be reasonable)
when many other very
fulfilling and important
things are going on in the
real world.

The data analytics inner self
is not convinced.
We are losing momentum!
This is our chance!  Where is our poem
producer?  Nail her to her desk!

I try ignoring those dots…
It’s important for an artist to have
fallow period, I offer the comfort
of metaphors from the natural world.

All futile.  ‘If a tree falls in a wood
with no one to hear it’, or something?
Bottom line?  I don’t exist now.

When I signed up for this,
I had no idea that the dots were
taking over.

things I want to tell my children but might forget – getting up

~ extraplorer ~ Leave a comment

things I want to tell my children but might forget / getting up

Waking

By now you probably know there are three kinds of waking.  I will describe them to you and then you can see if you know them.

The first one is when an alarm goes.  This is set to remind you to be awake for something.  When you are grown up the most usual reason is to go to work, but it can also be to catch a plane or to be at a wedding on time.  For you, it will be to remind you to get up and go to school, and to do this at a pace that is calm and allows us to have happy morning time together.  Maybe sometimes I will wake you, but I want you to grow into the habit of believing that the day belongs to you, and setting your own alarm will help you to remember this.

The second kind of waking is when you slowly emerge from being asleep.  Usually you feel a kind of softness and it’s like you come from black and white into colour.  It feels all calm and beautiful and cosy to wake like this.  This can sometimes happen on an alarm day if you wake before it, but also on a day when there are ‘no alarms’.  This second kind of waking is one of the most beautiful feelings you will ever experience, so if you have it, enjoy it, it is a treasure.

The third kind of waking is one that you will hopefully not experience very often.  I am telling you about it so that if you do feel it, you will know not to be scared.  Sometimes as you wake you feel something that is like an alarm clock in your heart.  It sounds a loud inner call that makes you jump.  Usually this is because you feel sad or worried about something.  The inner call is like a little ping of panic.  If this happens to you, just lie in bed for a minute and tell yourself ‘I am loved’.  This will always be true.  And then hop out of bed and call to someone to tell you this as well.  They will help you and you will remember that everything will be all right.  Sometimes you will have to wait to see that this is true, and sometimes you will know straight away.  If you have to wait, be brave.  You are in the company of brave adventurers and everyone who has taken a risk in their life knows how you are feeling.  Don’t be afraid.