doors

extraplorer 2015

~ extraplorer ~ Leave a comment

There’s no doubt about it, one of the highlights of 2014 was starting extraplorer, and even though I have had a few lean writing weeks (which coincide with fat everything-else weeks), I have loved being able to post over Christmas when and where I have had a moment of inspiration or observation.

extraplorer has taught me a lot in the just under three months that I have been posting.  In my first post, ‘teetering’ I wrote about the moment that a small child lets go of the furniture they have been using to navigate walking (confining them to a world of edges of things) and takes a first independent step.  extraplorer really has helped me to grow in confidence with my writing.  It has been so wonderful to have a quiet space to try out things.  My WordPress ‘Annual Report 2014’ filled me with joy and delight, despite the modesty of its successes.

It is not only the passion for the piano that opens doors.  Being able to say that I ‘write found poems’ or ‘have a blog’ has opened doors too, including being given a personal escort to take photos in a ‘no photography’ exhibition, and an incredible cosy chat with a local goldsmith.

I don’t want to weigh down extraplorer with hopes, or expectations or even resolutions for 2015, but one thing I have realised is that extraplorer acts as a kind of barometer of how much space I am making for myself to be myself.  It’s not that my other roles aren’t me, but there is something special about the quiet moment at home, or in a foreign cafe, where I sit down and open my laptop and begin to write.  There is something deep about myself that comes to the fore then, which is not always fully present at other times, or which I am not present to.

My wish for extraplorer is to continue to grow in courage and curiosity, to be open to new and old truths, to be alert to beauty wherever it may be found.  And as extraplorer helps me to grow myself and my writing, I want to extend my reach in sharing this with the world.

let me count the ways…. I love coming home

~ extraplorer ~ Leave a comment

So my last business trip of the year is complete and after the four and a half hour commute, I have just turned my key in the lock and opened my front door to the joys of coming home.

And here they are:

A few moments of reshelving favourite books, boxing up adaptor plugs, sliding pairs of shoes into their familiar hidey holes, and walking in my mother’s homecoming footsteps of ‘getting the washing on  the go”.

The particular hum of household appliances, the faint squeal of lightbulbs turned down on the dimmer, the strike of a match put to the gas fire tiled with fragments of my great grandmothers china and pebbles from my favourite seaside, the familiar rhythms of the boiler.  A symphony.

Settling straight into the routines of my home neighbourhood – tomorrow is recycling collection, so it’s back to me to take it out (my kind neighbour does this when I’m away).

Conscientiously watering plants before they die of neglect.

Warming up cherished cold corners, scented candle on the hearth, hot-water bottles in the bed, scented oils in the bathroom, a spread of chords on the too-silent piano.

Friendly things to eat – favourite tea tonight and tomorrow the prospect of my beloved favourite breakfast.

The smell of laundry.

Everywhere treasure: favourite cards, tea lights, cushions, books, mugs, chair, pillows, cosy clothes.

Catching up with connection, responding, calling, delaying, writing.  Being available to my friends and family again after days of intense focus.

Pink (seemingly outlawed from any business hotel I’ve stayed at in the last several years).

Prettyness – in delicate colours, in intricate textures, in contrast, in details, in scent, in light.

Storing my suitcase and turning back into someone who lives in their house, and who does not drag their possessions with them everywhere like a maladapted snail.

‘Pottering’; a mundane but beloved verb that rarely occurs away from home.

Presence, to myself, to my life, to now.

And thankfulness; what riches.

found poem – Brussels, autumn 2014, translation

~ extraplorer ~ Leave a comment

The freedom to be yourself.
Welcome! Bienvenue! Wilkom!
Home.
‘Tutu’ pendant light.

Happiness often sneaks in
through a door
you did not know
was open.

For me it’s about being
more than a man.
The flat street lined with poplars, stretched out before them
a fragment of a free universe.

Welcome.
Dream of honey.
Smoking is not allowed in our hotel rooms.
If you do so, you will be fined €150.

Don’t forget to toast me!

To go further.
Haven’t we all the same Father?
Were we not created by one God?

Summon the heroes.
Start each day like it’s your birthday.
Spark joy.

Passing friend, may this visit stay with you as a moment of peace.

Note: The location of this poem in the title was originally ‘city’.  I decided to add the actual location in case it enhanced the reader’s experience.

found poem – Brussels, autumn 2014

~ extraplorer ~ Leave a comment

The freedom to be yourself.
Welcome! Bienvenue! Wilkom!
Home.
Suspension “tutu”.

Happiness often sneaks in
through a door
you did not know
was open.

Il s’agit pour moi
d’être plus qu’un homme.
La route plate bordée de peupliers,
étirait devant eux
un fragment du libre univers.

Welcome.
Rêve de miel.
Smoking is not allowed in our hotel rooms.
If you do so, you will be fined €150.

Don’t forget to toast me!

Pour aller plus loin.
N’avons nous pas tous un seul père?
Un seul dieu ne nous a-t-il pas crées?

Summon the heroes.
Start each day like it’s your birthday.
Spark joy.

Ami de passage, que cette visite reste en toi comme un moment de paix.

Notes on locations: Marco Polo store, Made in Louise hotel (MIL), MIL, Max Yamamoto store, MIL, MIL, MIL, Marguerite Yourcenar Park, Grand Synagogue de Bruxelles, Synagogue, Poster for concert, Subdued store, advertisement, sign in Église Notre Dame du Sablon, Brussels.

Note: The location of this poem in the title was originally ‘city’.  I decided to add the actual location in case it enhanced the reader’s experience.

passion opens doors

~ extraplorer ~ Leave a comment

(Once again I am trying to write thoughtfully without including all the details of my life in it and once again the details crowd round the door demanding to be let in and moreover I can’t actually write without them.)

It should not be surprising that facing fears has interesting consequences, but this week I have been surprised by something:  Passion and bravery open doors, literally.

My piano exam is getting nearer and so being away for work has a downside: few hotels have pianos.  And even fewer have pianos in a place where they can be played unheard.

My desire to pass my exam, and to grow as a performer has led to some interesting choices this week.

Firstly, something quite amazing:  in the time since I was last at hotel number one of this business trip, the hotel has acquired a piano.  Moreover, it can be played by guests (so long as their playing is ‘sure to delight’ others, as a small accompanying sign puts it).  Another colleague plays the piano and he is braver than me.  One evening, he started playing, for people to sing to.  This made me braver.

His passion held open a door for me to go through.

So I sidled along onto the piano stool, and then played a piece for my colleagues.  Without any music.  I cannot emphasise enough how a year ago I would not have considered doing such a thing.  There were errors and I was quaking (more inside than out these days, but still).  I felt afraid.  It was magical.  There was an intense feeling in the room as my playing made me more vulnerable than they are used to seeing me (I normally look quite competent).

However, what was even better is that I had brought my piano exam music with me just in case I found a piano.  This time it was preparation that opened a door.  Combining preparation with passion and courage, I decided to practise during the lunch hour.  This meant that I was practising (and making mistakes) as tens of people walked to and fro past me (I didn’t check if this playing met the ‘sure to delight’ criteria, but no-one stopped me).  Some of them came and talked to me and some of them didn’t.  Those that did talked about their own creativity.  Now my passion opened doors.

At the second hotel there was not a piano.  So I decided to ask if there was one nearby I could practise on.  I have to say I had zero hope of there being a piano.  After all, I reasoned, who in a city has a piano that visitors can just go and play?  But I thought I would ask anyway and see what happened.

The hotel recommended the conservatoire.  I was excited!  I couldn’t really believe that the conservatoire would let me play their pianos, but I was in an unknown city and it wasn’t too far away so I went as part of a morning of exploring.  I walked through a grand courtyard and heaved open an incredibly heavy, ornate wooden door, and pushed an inner flimsy door and I was in a shabby reception.  I made my request (I speak the language, which helped I think), and to my astonishment, the receptionist said I could probably practise if I returned later in the day.

And so I have just spent an hour practising at the conservatoire, with the sound of genius-level music accompanying my walks through corridors.  My passion opened literal doors to an experience that I would never have believed I would have.

And I have found out about a free concert there tomorrow.

And the kind receptionist has telephoned a piano shop on my behalf so that I can practise tomorrow when the conservatoire is fully booked.  (And of course, it turns out that the piano shop is round the corner from my hotel).

Passion opens doors.