happiness

at the barre

~ extraplorer ~ Leave a comment

I take my place
in Degas,
one knee bent, to
slide my foot into pink leather.
I wish I had ribbons and a tutu.

I walk over to the barre,
stand in a line with
Pauline, Petrova and Posy,
but the self I face in the mirror,
is a grown-up woman.

My head turns into
Coppelia, a line traced
through generations.
My toes point with
Bull and Bussell,
Pavlova, and Guillem,
almost.

I plié and rise,
and I am in a
pirouette of dancing
bliss.  The landing is askew;
I am alight.

‘And one and two
and three and four’
echoes all around
me and all around the
world.  A hundred little girls
and companies of swans and mice
and courtiers and peasants.

Did someone just call me a
ballerina?  Oh!

ten things I love about blogging – seventeen day review

~ extraplorer ~ Leave a comment

OK, so I know seventeen days isn’t a conventional review period, but I am brimming with reviewing thoughts about writing my extraplorer blog, and having missed the more traditional one week and fortnight review moments, I can’t wait any longer.

Here are my top ten:

1. Somewhere to share my writing ~ I have been writing a journal since I was sixteen, poems since I was six, and all sorts of other bits of writing, but I have not really had a space to share it.  I have read one or two things to close friends, but then some of my attempts to share things have met with a wall of silence, and this has made it feel hard to believe that what I am writing is ‘real writing’.  By setting up this blog as a series of fragments, I have been able to hop over the hurdle of ‘real writing’ and just write, which I love.

2. Writing ~ I can never understand authors and writers who say that they hate actual writing (or even sometimes that ‘everyone hates the writing part’).  I absolutely love it.  For me it is like falling in love, and hearing beautiful music, and watching children play and the dawn when the snow has just fallen.  I love love love it.

3. Readers ~ Of course this is ridiculous, but somehow when I decided to start the blog, I had forgotten that people might actually interact with it.  I had readers in my mind’s eye, but I had forgotten that readers would jump out of there and turn out to be real.  It is quite amazing that people are reading what I write (see point 1 above).  Thank you so much!

4. extraplorer ~ I also love the name extraplorer, and now I have had the idea for a secret blogging identity, I have had some follow ideas like making little cards with ‘extraplorer’ on them to help people who would like to read something like this to find it.

5. ‘Penscratcher theme’ ~ What a great word!  The minute I saw ‘penscratcher’, I knew it was the one for me.  I love the word and I love the layout.  I love customising.  It’s so fun being able to say ‘yes’ to this and ‘no’ to that (and much much easier than designing a website which I’ve had to do for work and was laborious and very time-consuming).

6. Paying attention to things ~ This is one of my favourite things about writing – it helps to encourage you to pay deeper attention to things, and it also helps you to be brave.  There is a reason that a pen also connects with a sword and with a scalpel and with a torch.  It makes it possible to go deeper into things, to venture into dark places and take a look around, to understand more and even to do battle for things that are important (like beauty, and hope).

7. Learning about blogging ~ Now that extraplorer exists, I would like more people to be able to see it (again, if they would like to).  It’s fun to check our tips and work out what I might be able to do (and also helpful to be clear about what is not possible, given my other commitments).

8.  Becoming more creative ~ Having a space to write is making me stretch out creatively.  As I wrote before, creating found poems has been immensely joyful.  I’ve loved starting to think thoughts in writing and then follow the thought to the conclusion.  I love having a thought pop into my mind ‘passion opens doors’ and to have a place to explore it.

9. Secret identity ~ I feel a bit funny that I have not told all my own actual (lovely, fun, kind) friends about my blog, but the chance to try something in a totally fresh place is very invigorating.  For a while I worried about it in case I was not being brave enough, but no, I think sometimes a new land is an important place for growth and transformation.  It is a liminal space.

10.  Being connected to a new world ~ I’ve been a bit reticent about social media use because I feel sad when it’s used badly, and I feel protective about myself.  I use it for my work, but we could say I am a mixed-speed adopter.  Writing extraplorer has made me comfortable with taking time to find my place, my path and my pace, and taking the time to find out how to be wholehearted means I am really loving it.

So hooray for blogging, hip hip hooray!  And thank you WordPress for making something wonderful and fun.  And thank you people who are curious about extraplorer…

found poem – Stockholm, spring 2013

~ extraplorer ~ Leave a comment

In February the living stood still.

“I will so enjoy living in my cabin that I will probably end up dying here”
As though he had been able to predict the future,
he died on the beach below the cabin.

Rejoice

The birds flew unwillingly and the soul chafed against the landscape as a boat chafes against the pier it lies moored to.

Born originals, how comes it to pass, that we die copies?
Happiness hates the timid.

The trees stood with their backs turned towards me.
The deep snow was measured with dead straws.

Il faut travailler.

The footprints few old out on the crusts
Under a tarpaulin language pined

These shoes belonged to Selma Lagerlöf
who gained inspiration for her first book,
The Saga of Gösta Berling,
while taking a walk during her time at teachers college.

One day something came up to the window.
Work dropped, I looked up.

“How pitiful to strive to be someone or something in the motley crowd
of 1.4 billion two-legged tailless apes,
running around on our revolving earth projectile”.

You will often find the poet sitting at the piano.

Early in life, he had learnt to live in a state of constant preparedness to move.

The colours flared.  Everything turned round
The earth and I sprang towards each other.

What did you learn for the future?

Notes on locations:  Tomas Tranströmer exhibition at the Nobel Museum including his poem ‘Face to Face’, Le Corbusier exhibition at Moderna Museet, Poster.  Other lines are taken from other sources in the Nobel Museum including quotations from Albert Einstein, Louis Pasteur, Edward Young, Eugene O’Neill and Alfred Nobel.  

found poem – Brussels, autumn 2014, translation

~ extraplorer ~ Leave a comment

The freedom to be yourself.
Welcome! Bienvenue! Wilkom!
Home.
‘Tutu’ pendant light.

Happiness often sneaks in
through a door
you did not know
was open.

For me it’s about being
more than a man.
The flat street lined with poplars, stretched out before them
a fragment of a free universe.

Welcome.
Dream of honey.
Smoking is not allowed in our hotel rooms.
If you do so, you will be fined €150.

Don’t forget to toast me!

To go further.
Haven’t we all the same Father?
Were we not created by one God?

Summon the heroes.
Start each day like it’s your birthday.
Spark joy.

Passing friend, may this visit stay with you as a moment of peace.

Note: The location of this poem in the title was originally ‘city’.  I decided to add the actual location in case it enhanced the reader’s experience.

found poem – Brussels, autumn 2014

~ extraplorer ~ Leave a comment

The freedom to be yourself.
Welcome! Bienvenue! Wilkom!
Home.
Suspension “tutu”.

Happiness often sneaks in
through a door
you did not know
was open.

Il s’agit pour moi
d’être plus qu’un homme.
La route plate bordée de peupliers,
étirait devant eux
un fragment du libre univers.

Welcome.
Rêve de miel.
Smoking is not allowed in our hotel rooms.
If you do so, you will be fined €150.

Don’t forget to toast me!

Pour aller plus loin.
N’avons nous pas tous un seul père?
Un seul dieu ne nous a-t-il pas crées?

Summon the heroes.
Start each day like it’s your birthday.
Spark joy.

Ami de passage, que cette visite reste en toi comme un moment de paix.

Notes on locations: Marco Polo store, Made in Louise hotel (MIL), MIL, Max Yamamoto store, MIL, MIL, MIL, Marguerite Yourcenar Park, Grand Synagogue de Bruxelles, Synagogue, Poster for concert, Subdued store, advertisement, sign in Église Notre Dame du Sablon, Brussels.

Note: The location of this poem in the title was originally ‘city’.  I decided to add the actual location in case it enhanced the reader’s experience.