long silence

a long silence.
mute, I have been wandering
for aeons.

in the dark recesses of my past,
in the unseen glimpses of the future,

all alone underground
tunnels
chasms and
unheard of springs of
ancient purity.

gathering the wisdom
sedimented over time
by giants
and mice.

discovering jewels that
would perhaps glint
given light and time.

nuggets fill my dusty pockets.
weight makes movement slow.
how long have I been
lost to the world outside?

found to myself though;
perilously alive.
breaths of the deepest stillness
fill my lungs,
chase out dreary.

darkness sparkles
a blackness never before
as vibrant.
engulfed by unknowing;
known.

things I want to tell my children but might forget – on the train.

Oh, look the train is moving!  It is funny because what often happens is that it looks as if the platform is moving while the train stays still.  But this is an optical illusion.  If we have already got a seat (hopefully together), we can relax and enjoy the train experience.

There are many aspects of train journeys which are interesting.  The first thing is that it takes a while to settle into the new space.  Sometimes I change seats several times, or find I need things from my suitcase which I have to get down from the luggage rack.  Sometimes I find the people around me are too noisy, or eating stinky food, or sometimes (if they are about two years old) screeching.  If we are together, we will need to avoid these things so that we don’t upset other people.  It can be hard to play quietly for a whole journey, but we will try.  Once we have settled into our seats, we might play a game, like ‘I spy’ or we might eat our picnic.  What would you like for your picnic?  I would like ham and cheese baguette with a few ready salted crisps and a raspberry jelly.  Then I would like an oatmeal and raisin cookie (a bit later on) and a piece of chocolate with a cup of tea.  Yum!  Picnics are the best.

Now probably you will want to watch a little video.  In the days when I was a little girl, you could not watch a video on a train.  You could read a book or do a crossword puzzle or look out of the window.  When I was small like you, I only went on a train two or three times.  When I went on a train, I just used to look at everything because it was so different to normal.  I don’t know yet whether we will go on trains a lot or a little, but I hope we will go on them quite often.  Did you know that your great great grandfather used to work on the railways, and when your grandmother went to visit, she used to play in their garden where trains went right past the garden gate?  In those days trains were propelled by steam, so they were very dirty and noisy.  The trains that we will travel on are much cleaner and quieter.

Sometimes on a train people don’t talk very much.  Maybe they are doing their work or reading their book.  But sometimes people get involved in conversations.  This is more common if the train is travelling between two small places in the countryside than if it is going between bigger places and London.  It is often fun to talk to people on trains because you can discover new things.  But it is also important to work out when a person no longer wants to talk to you.  The signs of this are that they look at their book or work more, or they look out of the window, or at their watch, or they leave long pauses in the conversation.  If this happens, just let the conversation fade and turn to another activity that you have brought with you.

Maybe then it is time for a trip to the buffet car!  This is like a tiny café on the train.  Sometimes there is even a chef preparing food.  The people behind the buffet have to make everything in a very small space.  Sometimes they are cheerful and sometimes they are grumpy.  It is a great thing to have a buffet car so you should always be nice and friendly to the person, even if they are a bit grumpy to you.

Every part of a train journey is special.  The start is fun because you can feel the feeling of embarking on an adventure.  But in a way the middle is even more fun because you are in a special space – miles from home but not yet near your destination – where it feels like anything could happen.  Then nearing the destination is also fun because it you get the feeling of something ending and beginning at the same time, which is a funny mixture of feelings inside.

When you arrive at the destination, it is very important to check that you have got all your belongings with you.  It is very easy to forget something so it is worth checking twice.  Pay particular attention to umbrellas, hats and scarves which are the easiest things to lose.

I hope you will love train journeys as much as I do.

This train terminates here. (That’s what they say on trains).

end of year

The year is ending.
It is time to say goodbye:

To missed opportunities
(new ones will come),
to old patterns of friendship,
to stages of life
that I may not know have gone forever.

It is time to say thank you
for each delight:

Quiet evenings playing the piano,
noisy evenings with friends,
a new neighbourhood pub,
a delivery of beautiful clothes,
chatter of small children,
wisdom of older relatives.

It is time to ask for forgiveness:

For moments when I did not
reach out a hand of friendship
or of grace.
For sniping comments in asides,
for shortcuts,
and holding backs.

It is a time to let go:

To release expectations of others,
to shake off expectations from myself,
to accept what was not accomplished,
to let tears carry away loss,
to set down burdens of false responsibility
to shed the hopes of the old year.

It is time to turn around:

To open up to new hope,
to summon energy and courage,
to breathe in delight,
to laugh in anticipation.

It is time to welcome:

New adventures, new beginnings,
new people and new seasons of old friendships,
challenges bigger than ourselves,
darkness we must face and overcome,
every opportunity to bring beauty,
to offer kindness,
to overlook a fault.

It is time to step forward:

Into what we do not yet know,
into what we have not yet seen,
into what we maybe glimpse from a distance,
into what we know and long for, or even dread,
into each new day, a gift,

It is time to beckon and embrace
who we will become.

things I want to tell my children but might forget – at the station

At the station

While walking in the street is fun, sometimes we will want to go on a longer journey.  We might go to visit London, or cousins, or go to see something interesting in a place nearby.

A train journey is one of my favourite things.  To take a train, you have to go to a station.  A station is an almost magical place.  In a station, trains come and go, all bound for different destinations.  Some are going to small places nearby, some are going to big places far away.  But the fact that so many trains are coming and going makes a station full of opportunity and potential and mystery.  You could take a train to a place you have planned to go, or you could just turn up to the station one day and take a train anywhere you like.  Trains are arriving and departing all the time, so an adventure is always just around the corner.

Not only this, but at stations lots of important things are happening.  People are saying goodbye to people they love, or welcoming back people who have been away for a long time, or they are waiting for visitors to come, or they are going to important work meetings or holidays or interviews.  Sometimes people are not there for a specific reason, but just to travel about and see the world.  This is called exploring and it is one of the best reasons of all.

In a station, you can also find things like things to read, things to eat and things to use if you happened to have forgotten something important.  There are people there whose jobs are to help people to find the right train, and the right ticket.

In fact, when you get to a station, the first thing you need to do is to check you have your tickets.  Sometimes you book these in advance, sometimes you go to the ticket counter.  If you decide to queue for a ticket, make sure you go in the queue saying ‘tickets for today’; otherwise you might have to queue twice.  You need to make a decision whether you want to return on a particular train, or whether you want to be at liberty to return any time you like.  These decisions will determine the price of your ticket.

Once you have your ticket, you might need to buy some things.  I sometimes buy something to read, and often tissues and maybe water.  Some people buy things to eat on the train, but when we are traveling together, I will always make us a picnic.  Having a picnic on the train is one of the most fun things to do in the world.

To get to the train you need to put your ticket into the machine at the ticket barrier, and find the right platform.  If you pick the wrong platform, the chances are you will take the wrong train accidentally.  This has actually happened to me and I can report that it is quite time-consuming to take the wrong train.  It is also important to concentrate on the time so that you don’t miss your train.  This is easier by yourself than with others.  Once you are on the right train to the right place at the right time, it is the moment to concentrate on finding a place to sit.  At a table is best for picnics, but this is not always possible.  Right now I also like to pick a quiet carriage but when we travel together, we will probably picnic an ordinary carriage, where you can laugh and joke and don’t have to be extra quiet.

Once the train departs, the next adventure begins.

found poem, London, winter 2014

I like my town

Art is a dirty job but someone’s got to do it.

Back to basics.
Douceur d’enfance.

Today is a good day.
Live what you love.

She acts like summer
and walks like rain.

Art for all.
Discovery.

Let’s fill this town with artists.
Art is nothing without the gift

‘I love William Morris
as I love most artists who manage
to make their lives and work
completely part of each other.’

When William Morris lay dying in 1896,
one of his doctors diagnosed his fatal illness
as ‘simply being William Morris,
and having done more work than most ten men’.

Love is enough.

Own a masterpiece.

Welcome.

No peeking.

Skate.

He is like a tree planted beside the streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season,
whose leaves do not fade,
in all that he does he prospers.

‘Dying is as natural
as being born’.

The secret is out.

You are here.

Step into the adventure.

Thou God seest me.

A little patience won’t hurt you.

Notes on locations:  sign in Loft store, shirt in Loft, product in Loft, candle in Loft, art in Loft, art in Loft, Duke St Emporium, DSE, Landrover showroom, name of shop, sign in same shop, Anarchy and Beauty, National Portrait Gallery, cushion in NPG shop, sign in NPG, Jigsaw store window, Somerset House sign, engraving of Proverbs 1 in Somerset House monument, quotation attributed to Cecily Saunders, Kings College London, wording on a van, street map, advert on bus, wording above St Clements Danes church, sign on Tube.